Part One: LOVE BLOOMS!
HERE IS A UNIQUE LOVE STORY, unique as the people who comprise it. The story of Victor and Angie rivals both history and literature’s greatest lovers—when measured in terms of intensity of feeling, at least, if not by dramatic episodes--although dramatic episodes are present in the story of Victor and Angie.
HERE IS A UNIQUE LOVE STORY, unique as the people who comprise it. The story of Victor and Angie rivals both history and literature’s greatest lovers—when measured in terms of intensity of feeling, at least, if not by dramatic episodes--although dramatic episodes are present in the story of Victor and Angie.
Least the reader thinks I am engaging in a little hyperbole, I invite you to read the story of Victor and Angie, a story that is well known to other Internet audiences. It is through the Internet that Angie and I met.
**
Angie and I were members of a forum that discussed literature and philosophy. Among the hyper intellectually that it is known for, the site also had a more relaxed and playful side to it. Angie and I traded a few playful remarks to each other that was nothing less than flirting. In short, our playful banter turned to love. It was an almost immediate connection.
Angie and I started talking in private on Aug 10th, 2006. With a month of constant contact, we were exhilarated and quite sure of our feelings for each other. On September 19, we decided to post a declaration (and celebration) of our love. Why not? We thought of ourselves as apart of an extended "Internet family" and who better than to rejoice a great thing like romantic love? We wanted to shout it to the world!
In the post, I wrote, in part, the following:
“Angie is the most beautiful women—inside and out—that I have ever come across in my life. Angie is not my ideal woman. That is, it would have been impossible for me to project in my own mind everything that she is. The image of my ideal woman falls short to the reality that is Angie. She is much more than what I would allow myself to hope for. The image in my mind of the “ideal woman” does not do her justice. Our next step is to meet in the flesh. But I did want to now openly announce how we feel for each other, to put an end to the rumors, to now place it in the realm of fact. Angie, I adore you. I love you! Thank you for returning that love.”
Angie, in turn, wrote:
"I'm truly and honestly at a complete loss for words. It is true that Victor and I have connected and romance is definitely in the air. Even though it's only been a short time, it was very sudden for me and it was bound to happen. We are so much alike on so many levels it truly is like looking in a mirror. I've never met anyone like him and probably never will again. I would be a fool to allow him to slip through my fingers. He exceeds everything I could ever want in a man. I have a tremendous amount of admiration and respect for him. He truly inspires me. It amazes me that out of all the places to meet my Mr. Right I found him here. He is everything that I could possibly want in a man. He exceeds everything that I could possibly want in a man. You are breathtakingly beautiful to me, Honey. I do love you. I am so very excited and anxious to finally meet which will be very soon. From there, it will be one hell of an adventure.”
It had started. Like the Johnny Cash song, we fell into a ring of fire.
**
Intense as our emotions were for each other, our love was not without obstacles and trouble. The declaration of our love was desecrated on the very same Internet forum that Angie and I considered as “family.” Both Angie and I were insulted and criticized as both a brand new couple and as individuals. Our love was declared as a “rationalistic” and “desperate” among other lowly designations. Our love was being said to be something that was less than "real" or wholesome, and it was also insinuated that Angie was a whore.
Hurt and disappointed, Angie and I thrived. We carried on, talking everyday, falling all the more in love.
Our love next became a subject of debate: can people really fall in love over the internet? Although it is an interesting question, the reason for our post was not to raise a philosophical query, it was simply a matter of wanting to share and celebrate the love we felt. But being on a hyper “intellectual” site, everything (and I do mean 'everything') is up for debate it seems. Even other member's love lives. So sad.
Again, our love endured. We were passionately in love, and a "cyber gang" was not going to sunder what had been joined by a deeply felt conviction—no matter what their numbers or how hurtful and belittling their insults. There were so many times when I thought to myself: What the hell am I doing here?'
The time came. So accelerated and certain was our love that Angie and I decided that a physical meeting must take place. We had already given the other an endearing lover’s pet name: I was “Boo.” Angie was “Pussycat.” Our whole "mating ritual" had been conducted over the Internet: we had ‘met’ on the Internet. We flirted on the Internet. We courted on Internet and we ‘dated’ on the Internet. Eventually, of course, we started talking over Instant Messenger, email and phone. We would talk for hours on end, sometimes into the wee hours of the night, laughing and sharing all our inner most thoughts and feelings about life and love. Our values and thoughts paralleled one another’s to such a great extent, it seems as if we have already met face-to-face and have known each other for years. As Angie said: “Yes, we have spent quite a bit of time together. When we get together to talk, easily the hours fly by. I'm so engrossed with him that I lose track of time. The time we do spend together all that matters is Victor."
The feeling was very mutual.
The naysayers and abuse carried on at the forum. Angie had always been very open and expressive about her love for me, and now that manner of expression was being parodied and mocked. Our problems were all the more complicated because many of the male members had also fallen for her, and she was now subject to intimidating emails by these men who bad-mouthed me by trying to instill in Angie a feeling of doubt regarding our relationship. One male member was particularly devastated, consumed with jealously, that he cried out to Angie in angry anguish: “YOU RIPPED MY FUCKING HEART OUT!”
And all this from a site where the members consider themselves paragons of rationality.
But our love endured. Angie and I were inseparable, in a manner of speaking. Although thousands of miles did separate us, physically, we were as close as two human beings could possibly be. It seemed as if our love knew no boundaries and we expressed that love, as best we could, in every way feasible. We always wished each other “sweet dreams” when going to bed, lamenting the fact that we could not, yet, walk to the bedroom hand-in-hand, something that we both talked about in great detail.
There had been many nights when Angie and I talked on the phone, wishing each other a “good night” and other times we would bid each other sweet dreams in email. I fondly recall the many times I would send out a simple and short message: “I love you, Angie.” And within a minute the message was returned: “I love you, Victor.” I recall sometimes just sitting at my desk, looking at the words on my screen, yearning and so completely and utterly head-over-heels for this woman. I also got the feeling that at those moments, Angie was also mesmerized—glued to her computer screen, savoring the words we had exchanged. The words “I love you”---that so many people utter every day, but never really mean—were words that Angie and I said and felt to the very core of our being.
Regarding the matter of getting to know each other online (before physically meeting that person) Angie elaborates very well what it was like for us:
“Since I've met Victor, we have spent an enormous amount of time talking over the internet, on the phone, as well as videos. If we are not talking on the phone, which sometimes can be a few times a day depending, we are talking through email or instant messaging. I would say on average everyday we are talking with each other a minimum of 5 to 6 hours a day, either by phone, email, or instant messaging. 80 percent of my work through my job is done on the computer so it has enabled me to stay in touch with him for considerable amounts of time and I absolutely love it. There have been many times when talking on the phone that 3 or 4 hours can slip by so fast. The only aspect there is now is finally being able to touch each other, smell each other, and taste each other. We've gotten to know each other so well over the months through the internet, phone, and videos I'm dying to finally be able to touch him.”
***
There were times when Angie and I were angry and frustrated at being so far apart and that frustration took the form of tearful phone conversations where we both would encourage and support each other with the constant assurance of “Soon, honey, soon.” When I was feeling down, Angie would comfort me. And when she was down, I comforted her. It was a trade off. Troubles at hand, our love endured. And although our bond remained cemented, Angie did express a disheartening lament over the fate of our original post, the post where we had first declared our feelings to the other members of the forum. She was angry. She was hurt. Angie expressed her pain and disappointment over the fate of our love post many time, and we agreed that had we anticipated the outcome, we surely would not have created it.
This type of trouble went on and on. One forum member was so condescending that he took on the unmitigated tenacity to “counsel’ Angie and I, (in between insults) laboring to convince us that our love was unreal and that we were “deluding ourselves”.
In response to this, I wrote:
“Listen to Angie and me: we are in love. Are you telling us that we are not two intelligent—introspective—adults who are able to assess what’s happening to our hearts, our innards? Are you telling us that we aren’t actually feeling an intense affinity of shared values—an intense feeling of admiration, of desire, of respect, of painful longing? If love is a response to values—then we hit the mother load. Tell me, how did you gain access to our hearts and state of mind to say anything contrary? I’m really curious to know how you managed this…and without engaging in rationalism to boot! I’m truly amazed.”
The gall and presumptuousness of that site, among many of its members, was only equaled by the malice and envy it exhibited. Sometimes Angie and I would quarrel over this, and it is here that I stressed the absolute necessity of conflict resolution and communication. I had written:
“Romantics may encounter all the usual stumbling blocks that characterize most other relationships, but they would have the intellectual equipment to defuse the problem, to overcome it--to fight for the relationship--because they both would realize that the relationship is an immense value to them.”
As maddening and painful as it could be, both our lover’s quarrels and the forum mob elements, our online playfulness was exuberant....and, um, perhaps extreme. The mush was too much for some people and they did bitch.
In this exchange, Angie and I are having a bit of fun---weird ass fun, but fun nevertheless, talking about sex and just basically kidding about। Actually we play off each other like a comedy team. It’s pretty funny!
Awaaaay we go:
Angie: “If they [people] loosen up a bit and are confident with their body and who they are and play and experiment and not be afraid of trying the taboo, or various "things," they would quickly realize that they both will benefit in the end, even women can be guaranteed the big O every time. They just need to loosen up and experiment and play and don't be shy. Of course, who wants routine, same ole thing. Come on, People, Spice it Up, add a little adventure in the bedroom!!!”
Victor: “Okay। I'm converted!”
Angie: “Holy sheep shit, Everyone, we've got a diehard here that we just converted. Hell, there just might be hope for us yet!”
Victor: “Did I say ‘converted’? Maybe I mean perverted। I need an Icon that has a Groucho Marx face on it! Sex is not for public consumption. It should be a private matter between a man and women...and occasionally a few of her friends.”
Angie: “Ah, there's the slip once again, A Man and WOMEN....many women for one man! Hmm, I see how it is. That's why he is a door to door handy man as he has many customers that are his friends. The occasional public consumption may be necessary for you.”
Victor: “Oh-oh, it was a Freudian slip, really! A Freudian slip…slip…slips…slips…women and their slips, and so soft… *dribbles on chin* In my toolkit, I have a miracle drug called Viagra so that hundreds of men who couldn't previously have sex are now banging away like chimps with wooden spoons on cooking pots. Step right up, gentlemen! Step right up!”
Angie: “The miracle drug Viagra, many hours of go around with the occasional ER visit। So I have heard, it benefits women much the same way it does men ! I wear the really BIG granny panties. You know, the ones that go up to the chin and offers serious coverage in the back. I'm not into butt floss…serious wedgie action and gets quite irritating back there.”
Victor: “Hmm, you could fit two people at one time in those, I imagine। Now that's hot.”
Angie: “Remember, Victor, that pix of me has been reduced 100 times। I fill up every inch of those big granny panties of mine। Not much room for anything else and they're really tight too, not much circulation to my feet. You still game for the dinner and a movie date for the premiere of Atlas Shrugged?”
Victor: “There's so much more of you to like then, but I will bring a change of underwear, mind you।”
Angie: “I'm a WHOLE LOTTA woman over here। Many men are intimidated by me but not you !! hehehehehehe. What's the change of underwear for? You got something planned or what? I'm a little scared to know but so curious. See, If YOU need a change of undies, you've got some crazy shit planned for our night out.”
Victor: “I don't know why I said that! I must be losing it! 'There coming to take me away--ha-ha! There coming to take me a way--ho-ho!”
Man, so much fun playing around. We were two crazy kids.
***
Part Two: VICTOR AND ANGIE MEET—IN THE FLESH!
ANGIE AND I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER. We had to meet. It had been nearing six months at that stage, and our love for each other was so intense and complete it was painful. We needed to be together—physically.
We had shared everything a man and woman could share—in terms of feelings and values, and the only part that put the puzzle together in this love story was a *physical expression* of what was intensely felt in spirit. Our problem was not lessened by the fact that Angie lived in California and I in Toronto, although we did not consider this an insurmountable barrier.
After much deliberation, Angie and I decided that the ideal meeting spot would be none other than NIAGARA FALLS. The date was set for May 23, 2006.
Although the forum where Angie and I had met was filled with truly horrible people—people who still went on to debase our love--even after seven months---there were supporters among us. On the eve of our meeting, May 22, Angie and I were ecstatic that we were finally going to meet. Angie could not contain herself and she expressed her joy online, directing her comments to those who she considered our supporters:
“Oh, my god, tomorrow is the big day. My plane will be leaving for Buffalo, New York and then driving to the border to Niagara Falls to finally meet my baby Victor. I'm absolutely tickled pink, can't stop smiling and giggling, so much anticipation, so many butterflies, extremely happy. It's been so long, almost a year, since I met Victor. This is a trip that should have been taken a long time ago. But given circumstances, moving, governmental red tape, etc., there have been more than enough obstacles. But dammit, it's finally here!! Again, thank you, Steve, so very much for posting.*sighing blissfully* I'm still absolutely floored that it is finally here. We've both been counting the days down. I've been crossing out the days on my calendar to the red heart that's drawn in over May 22nd. Today is the last day to cross out!! I'm so damn excited that I know I'm not going to sleep all that well tonight because of soooo wanting to get out there to be with him. The anticipation and excitement is just absolutely killing me. Wow, it's finally here!”
May 23 arrived. This was our big meeting day—finally. Eight long months of being passionately in love—and not being able to physically express that love—is something I would never wish upon my worse enemy. But our love endured almost every obstacle and setback that would dampen the spirits of other people, because this is Victor and Angie that we talking about after all. Our love was too strong, our passion consumed us. THIS, we both agreed, was the love of a lifetime—never to be equaled.
I’ll never forget the day I stepped on the Greyhound bus that was going to swoop me into the Niagara Falls bus port from which I would taxi over to the hotel were Angie awaited me. I remember gazing out the bus window, watching the store and shop keepers sweeping their door steps. The warmth of the day and the bud on the trees showed that spring had indeed arrived as friends talked on the side walks and lovers walked arm-in-arm, causally strolling along enjoying the day and each other. How smug I felt as I concluded that these lovers didn’t have one-tenth the feeling that Angie and I have for each other, although this wasn’t something that could actually be measured...but it showed how excited I was.
Riding along on a long stretch of highway, my thoughts returned to Angie, who had by now arrived in Niagara Falls, on the Canadian, side and was resting up in our room from her flight. The room that was selected overlooked the falls and I could not but try to imagine the panoramic spectacle of it all in my mind’s eye.
When the bus finally did arrive at the port, and when I did step into the cab…my heart started to race. It was a matter of minutes before I was to meet Angie and the reality hit me full force. My head was spinning as I rode up the elevator…floor five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, fourteen, fifteen—and ding. The doors opened.
There are no words to describe how I felt swiping the pass that permitted entrance to the room---and there are even lesser words to describe the feelings I had when mounting the stairs that led to the second floor loft where Angie was resting in bed. I hadn’t yet actually seen her in the darkened room when I joked, in an effort to minimize my nervousness, “I'm home, honey.” There was a little laugh. The room was dark, but a feminine figure sat up from the bed. I bent over and we embraced. The physical reality of the woman that I had shared so much with, over a period of months and at a great distance, was actually in my arms, her breath on my face, her skin next to mine. "You are real," I said. We kissed. My head in a total spin, I felt so happy. (I won’t go into details, but suffice to say that eight months of being physically separate did give way to expressing what had been already boiling over. I will hold that memory forever).
Angie describes our first meeting at this point:
“The ease of meeting couldn't have been anymore perfect. It was strange enough that I was as calm as could be whereas Victor was nervous and so cute, just like a teenager when meeting for his first date. As soon as we saw each other, we crashed into each other's arms and didn't let go, kissed, and just kept hugging each other. He is the most caring affectionate man I have ever met. Given that we've been talking extensively over the net, phone, and videos, I was surprised that there was no adjustment period so to speak and getting acquainted with the physical person. It all flowed so easily. It's as if we've known each other for many years and it was a meeting after a temporary separation; such as, your baby being in the military and being sent overseas for a period of time and then coming back to you for a joyous reunion. That is the way it felt.”
Angie and I spent the next eight days becoming accustomed to the physical reality of each other. It was one of the most passionate romances I have ever had, and I doubt it could ever be equaled. At this stage, there was no counting how many times the words “I love you” had been uttered or written and it was finally expressed in eight compacted vacation days.
The story of Victor and Angie is coming to a sad end—perhaps. It doesn’t have to, but as the bromide goes: It takes two to tango. Despite a falling out, we still love each other. I think it can work out, if we let it. Our meeting felt like Kismet.
What can be said about the love a woman feels when she travels all the way from California to meet a man in Toronto, a first time meeting that was, no less, planned for a week’s time at one of Niagara Falls most romantic (and expensive) hotels? Is this true love? What can be said about a man who would up and leave his home city to start life anew, leaving behind a career that would have to be constructed from the ground up in the new country? Cynics have their own name for it, but for Angie and me…we simply chalked it up to being in love. Pure and simple.
I would much rather leave on a happier note, and so I commend our own words to you, the reader, words that should have been shared only here.
Victor: “Angie, I adore you. I love you! Thank you for returning that love.”
Angie: “I have no doubt that this will be a romantic love affair that will span a life time. I love you, Victor.”
****
